Really getting sick and tired of my own excuses. Here I just stole the damn desk/table thingy from the dining room and put it in my room hoping that it would inspire me to start drawing right away, and nothing gets done

Then again, RL issues are bugging me too, and my anger is starting to get out of control with my mom and a certain someone on the phone, and I feel ashamed of it. As the years go on, and the more family I've seen passed away, the more broken I feel, and the more anger builds in my heart. I don't want to be and feel like this at all, I would try and get some sort of therapist or counseling to help me out, but I lack the insurance for that.

I was hopeful that 2012 would be the year for things to improve, but that's yet to happen. But then again, have I truly done anything to make change happen. I can answer that easily; NO. I'm miserable because I've done NOTHING to make anything positive happen for myself. I bough plenty of felt to help me practice with my sewing, but instead I just let it sit to the side and collect dust (thankfully it's sealed in plastic).

Hoping to make a few changes today, and continue making changes tomorrow. First change today is doing some strength training and changing my workout routine. Sunday-Thursday since I weigh-in on Sunday's. And I'm going to try and draw for at least an hour today too...and clean my room so I can actually move my legs at this fucking desk.

One positive thing I can say is that I finally got over my almost 2-month plateau! Went from the 320's to 319.6!

Thank you to anyone who bothered to read this...though I feel really pathetic about writing this

And bombs away with whatever comments you say, positive or negative. Negative Nancy's will never get the best of me, especially in RL!